Haze

At first I thought that I would never see this film because it only came around to festivals and it was on a region pal DVD. But, that's to the wonders of the internet I was able to see it with French subtitles. And because, I'm so incredibly hardcore I watched the 48 minute masterpiece twice. Once, to see it through the whole thing and twice, to translate on an online translator what an idea what the subtitles were saying. I got a pretty good idea. But, I do not doubt my ability any longer to find anything that I'm looking for on the internet. When it comes to obscurities such as a short film by Shinya Tsukamoto I'm going to go after it like a murder case. The quality wasn't bad it was ripped from a European DVD and it was a very relieving goal to check off my list. It only irks me that stuff like this is so hard to see for fans like me. They should at least have it somewhere to maybe pay a dollar to watch it online. It was a difficult task to find a copy of Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and Drawing Restraint 9 on the web just to watch these films.

A man wakes up to find himself locked in a tiny, cramped concrete room, in which he can barely move. He can't come to remember why he is there and where he came from. He has a large wound which hinders his movement around the corridors to his stomach and is slowly bleeding to death. He begins to explore the narrow confines of his prison and crawls around the maze-like room, only to run into dangerous mouse-like terrain and sees horrible visions of Hell waiting for him at each end of the room. Finally he gives up on the struggle and collapses in exhaustion. Then he begins to remember images from his past. Clinging to these images he creeps forward with the last ounces of his strength and meets a woman in a place that stinks of rotting corpses. The man and the woman both try to recall where they came from, but their memories are so uncertain that they are not even sure they want to return. The man is ready to give up but the woman insists on going forward. Neither of them can imagine the incredible end to the journey.

Not just because it was such a hard film to get a hold of and see and I'm not 100 percent certain what all was said, this was easily one of my favorite Tsukamoto films. The film is horrifying for anyone watching it. Combining all the worst elements you can put into a horror film or a real life situation: Darkness, confusion, bleeding to death, mutilation, grizzly images, claustrophobia, lack of air, not being able to move, indescribable noises. I find it fun to watch a foreign film and not knowing what is said completely and try and guess on my own what's going on. Truth is though, the characters in the film could have said nothing during the entire movie and you would have gotten the idea of what they were thinking or trying to say. Shinya Tsukamoto's 'horror' in his films are similar to the feeling that David Lynch's films give me. When a scare comes into view it stays with me forever and bothers me for hours or even days on end. It's not easy to get some of these images out of your head, and it scares me further to think that someone can think this up but, it's art right? An excruciating film to watch and a well thought out idea from one of the greatest film directors the world is ever going to know.

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Prepare for Halloween

For those who don't know I'm a big Halloween enthusiast. Before we know it, Halloween will be here so, I'm going to do what I do every year and watch all my old time favorite horror movies since there isn't shit going to be in theaters that's worth a damn to go see. As we all know there are the obvious essentials to watch like, Halloween, Night of the Living Dead, Frankenstein, etc. but, I'm going to pick a few of my favorites and then some I think some may enjoy if they haven't seen them already. So, sit back and let me indulge upon you some that will give you the mood for All Hallow's Eve.

Halloween (1978) & Halloween II (1981)



As Marvin Gaye is to putting the mood for love into people, Halloween is to setting the mood of how fall should feel to an individual. Crisp breeze with a hint of chill in the air. Dead silence only to be interrupted by the the winds rustling of leaves. Not only is it a glorious and immaculate horror movie it also brings back fond memories of how Fall use to be when I was little and there wasn't a moment this film wasn't being viewed during the that time. It was the first movie that scared me no matter how many times of it's viewing. The first film can almost immediately be followed up by it's successor for it follows the immediate story moments after the ending after the first so they go together. Many people think it tacky for these types of film to have so many sequels and the main reason artistically is that figures like Michael, Jason, and Freddy were considered the face of the Boogieman to certain individuals and it immortalizes that saying, "You can't kill the Boogieman." So every year he keeps coming back to get you. But, sadly the ugly truth is that Hollywood is out to make a buck.

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The Monster Squad



This movie seemed like it would be like a Goonies Halloween special. It has a lot of aspects of the Gooniesbut, it's the horror fans Goonies. It has all the nostalgia of being a young horror nerd and all your wildest fantasies of silver screen monsters coming to life. The story is quirky and classic and it has a good flow to it without rushing through the film. Seeing all the classics on one screen, Dracula, Frankenstein, the Mummy, the Creacture from the Black Lagoon (a.k.a. Gilman), and the Wolfman (whom has nards) is an instant attraction so there are five different ways to enjoy the movie for fans of any one of them. It's not too cartoony to be just for kids and it's not too violent to where kids can't enjoy it to. The film just set of every electrode in my brain and set my imagination on crash courses when I was little. The film may be a little aged but remains one of the cult favorites of the horror genre forever.

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The Blair Witch Project



Scary as fuck if you know how to appreciate it. Also, an epitome Fall film to watch around this time. The dead leaves and the cold ground and then the legend of the Blair Witch. When I was little I would read every book I come across in our school library that was jam packed with short stories of the macabre and occult. And this story reminds me of some of the similar stories I would read from the libraries. It's 'artsy' some said, I never truly thought it to be an art film I got what they were going for. The build up of this film that it was an actual event and on top it was original. I soaked it in as much as I could and then when I finally saw it the effect it had on me was what I'm sure the creators intended to have in store for the viewers. Yes, this is one of the essential things to have during the Fall season along with Type O Negative's October Rust and pumpkin pie.

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Evil Dead II



To be honest this one has never moved from my top five list ever. It's got a good balance of comedy and a good balance of shear horror. Sam Raimi was always good at using noises to their fullest potential to make things the creepiest they could possibly be in the film. The whole bellowing howl that chases Ash around in the movie still haunts me if I'm alone walking in the dark and it alone has kept me from camping anywhere to this day. Sadly, I know that Hollywood is going to get it's cold dead fingers clinched around the throat of this masterpiece and toss it to and fro until they fuck it up. This one will always have a special place in my black rotting heart.

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Frankenstein



After careful investigations over the years I admit that Boris Karloff was the better actor than his rival Bela Lugosi. Though both are amazing Karloff just did a few more roles that were much more interesting and everlasting than Lugosi. Frankenstein is the essential horror story about man attempt to play God and the consequences that follow it. The Gothic tale only becomes more rich with age like a fine wine. It never looses it's spectacle or it's edge. It never wears on originality because it is the original. As well as this it's also good to watch back to back with the Bride of Frankenstein.

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Hostel II

Up until I heard Eli Roth was doing the the story by Stephen King, Cell, I could actually breathe a sigh of relief that he had come onto the scene. Cabin Fever was an exceptionally good fall back into the horror genre that many had been waiting to come around for a long time, along with, Saw and House of 1000 Corpses things were looking up for horror and I still have high hopes that there will be another plunge. Eli's next indulgence with the genre was with the Hostel filmss. First one was unique and different but, seemed way too much into the torture porn type stuff. The second installment I felt was more entertaining in a way to where I still can't come to the point why I enjoyed it better. It seems like the natural instinct would be I'd like the first one more since I could relate to the guys in the film more with the fucking of girls and their male like conversations about girls. Though the same surrounding around the secret organization that captures young euro-travelers and has people pay top dollar to murder them the characters in part two were more likable to me, well, at least the main character. I guess I have a thing for girls with black hair. When I saw it, it was in theater of course and it could have been with a better crowd. I sat next to some Latina girls that through the entire film when the gory parts would come onto the screen they would mistakenly grab my arm out of freight. And it's a plus they were getting scarred because, it's a nice feeling to see a horror movie and listen to other peoples terror.

If you haven't seen the end of the first one then don't read any further.

The beginning of the film continues after the ending of the first where the main protagonist Paxton (Jay Hernandez) thinks that he has escaped the organization completely but soon there after returning home in his seclusion is decapitated and left to be discovered by his girlfriend in his home. The initial story begins with three art college girls (Beth (Lauren German), Whitney (Bijou Phillips) and Lorna (Heather Matarazzo)) go on on a trip though Scandinavia with a newly meet friend Axelle (Vera Jordanova). The girls arrive at a small spa and the clerk checks them in and uploads their passports onto the organizations database to be bid on. The bids for the girls are jumped on by a hotshot American businessman Todd (Richard Burgi) bids on Whitney and Beth for himself and his passive best friend and brother Stuart (Roger Bart). Stuart is resentful towards the whole idea of killing someone but, Todd leads him on that it's a new experience in which they haven't done before and that he doesn't want to go through alone. Todd, eventually convinces Stuart to do it and they fly to Scandinavia to fulfill their contract.

As with all horror films it got mixed reviews with critical reception. All in all it's a blast to watch for old veterans for the horror genre because of the three B's. Blood, Babes, and Boobs. Which I think the first one had more of but, again this one had a little bit more development. And interesting thing is that as with the last one having a cameo of the infamous Takashi Miike as one of the clients to the murderous organization, this one features one by Ruggero Deodato the director of the most controversial film ever made, Cannibal Holocaust. Coincidentally, of course, he plays a client who enjoys eating the flesh of his victims in a fine dinner like matter while the poor bastards still alive. This recurring usage of brutal film directors in Eli Roth's Hostel's, if they are to make a third one, will be something I look forward to for years to come.

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The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This is truly a film for ages to come. This film echoes aspects which remind me of Big Fish in the sense of living life to it's fullest despite circumstances which may hold people at bay. It's whimsical and touching all in one you don't see very good fantasy's like this a lot, especially ones that adults can enjoy. It strays a good way from the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald but, only natural when it comes to Hollywood. It's almost like it's a whole different story though but, based on the idea of Benjamin Button. It would have been ruined if they'd go the approach they did with A Prayer for Owen Meanie when they made the film Simon Birch (a true shit film). But, it's nice to see how they related the story to actual events in history and not bending the truth around what happened in real life around the story to where it's inaccurate. This film is the good outcome of very hard work.

Our story starts with an elderly woman lying in a hospital bed during her final hours on our plain with her beloved daughter by her side. The old woman recollects a story about a blind watch maker whom lost his son in WWI and made a clock that ran backwards in honor that all the boys lost in the war may return home to reclaim their lost time one day. At the dying woman's request she asks her daughter Caroline (Julia Ormond) to read a diary out loud to her that belonged to a man named, Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt). The story starts with the birth of Benjamin Button in New Orleans during the end of WWI. His mother dies giving birth and his father is horrified by the deformity that is his son and runs out into the crowded streets and leaves him at a house where A lady named Queenie (Taraji P. Henson) finds him on the steps and becomes his mother. That same night they discover that Benjamin was born into the body of an old 80 year old man and wasn't expected to live very long. Years passed and Benjamin aged younger and strong with every day that goes by. Growing up Benjamin meets many people in his life that bend and curve his life in more ways than one and helps shape him into the man he one day becomes. One Sunday at his home at the retirement home where he was found he meets the love of his life Daisy Fuller (later portrayed as, Kate Blanchett). At age eighteen Benjamin leaves home to join a tug boat that journeys around the world and from there starts his adventure called, life.

It's a breathe of fresh air that this films CGI isn't too unbelievable. They used it where necessary and only to certain limitations. Probably the biggest noticeable flaw in the film that always seems to twinge my nerve is little Daisy age 6. They dub her voice over with a unquestionably noticeable older woman's voice in order to make her sound more Southern/Cajun. The climax of the film is following Benjamin through his rare and odd deformity becoming younger with each year and finally inevitably into a young boy all over again. His mind dwindling back into the mind of a small child as we see elderly people resort to child like behavior. The final thoughts written down in Benjamin's journal are the most penetrating to me him reflecting on all the people that shaped him in his life and their uniqueness about them that helped make him appreciate and love them to their fullest potential. Like the character Ms. Maple in the film said, that he claimed helped shape him the most in the film that give him some of the best advice he'd ever been given, "Benjamin, we're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?" That is a very powerful statement that swells and compresses throughout the entire film and is a statement I understand in my own life.

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2001: A Space Odyssey

Celestial, astronomical, so incredibly conceived it tears heaven itself asunder. Quite possibly the most magnificent science fiction film ever made. A Van Gogh in motion. Anyone who's seen it and appreciates it can't say enough good things about it. You could start a whole semester long class dedicated to the understanding, conception, and shear theory behind the story. I find it sad that it can't catch people immediate attention. I admit at first I would fall asleep during the film in my first viewings on account every time I seemed to watch it would be late at night. Now during every viewing it seems to fly by despite it's two and a half hour long stretch. To recognize it's natural beauty you would have to, as with every other film, experience it in the theater. Luckily, my associate and friend Martin informed me that the Fox Theater in Atlanta was showing it. I couldn't have spent my money better. Everything seemed as though it was twice illuminated with life. The film seems so quite on a television screen but, on the big screen I have to admit the silence is very well deafening. My favorite part of seeing it in theater is during the intermission, well, I got to take the intermission experience.

The film start out with immediate confusion. Director Stanley Kubrick begins the film with with a blank screen with classic orchestra playing over the blank screen. My interpretation of this is that it was the idea that in the beginning of the universe there was nothing. Though he skipped the theory of the Big Bang I still believe that's what he was implying but, could totally be wrong. At the dawning of mankind when the world is ruled by apes, one particular clan of apes discovers a mysterious rectangular monolith near their cave, which imparts upon them the knowledge of tool use, and enables them to evolve into men. We flash fowards to 2001 A.D. where reports of a monolithic figure has been discovered on the moon, and is determined to have come from an area near Jupiter. Astronaut David Bowman (Keir Dullea), along with four companions, sets off for Jupiter on a spaceship controlled by a super computer code named, HAL 9000. HAL is a revolutionary computer system that is every bit mankind's equal, and perhaps his superior. When HAL endangers the crew's lives for the sake of the mission, Bowman will have to first overcome the computer, then travel to the birthplace of the monolith where he meets the eternal infinite face to face.

There are limitless one ups to this film the first is the fact that Kubrick got the author of the novel, Arthur C. Clarke, to write the screenplay to the film. Which is good to know that the author was alright with the film, he trusted Kubrick and we can all agree he put his work into good hands. Every frame that whirls by on screen is a piece of art. The stillness on screen is the most accurate depiction of space of it's time. And for 1968 it's still extremely accurate. Kubrick researched with actual NASA scientists working on the moon landing mission in 1969. The camera work and set designs are something to drive a inexperienced filmmaker bonkers on screen. Rotating sets, anti-gravity, stunning images all capturing the glory and mystery of outer space.

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Deepthroat

You can't find this anywhere, unless you download it on a torrent or a .rar file. I don't even think this film will see the light of day. It's only an hour and I had no other real purpose of watching it than to watch the first porno ever to hit the big screen. After, watching this is good to watch the footnote film Inside Deepthroat and see why many considered this film a very important advancement in American film. John Waters described buying a ticket to the film during it's original release as, "it turned buying a ticket into an act of revolution." What corporate and 'descent' America sees as a stain on the American society of pureness was a multi-million dollar phenomenon. The film was removed from screen out of indecency, the filmmakers and actors arrested. Though this would not be the only time in history for this to happen for example the film, Cannibal Holocaust, it was one of the first major known film to be removed. Off the top of my head the only one before this one that I can even guess was removed was Birth of Nation but, I doubt that statement after claiming it. It was the golden step to a long staircase into the American pornography film industry and a large step into the continuation of underground rebel cinema.

A sexually frustrated woman, Linda Loveless (Linda Loveless), asks her friend, Helen (Dolly Sharp), for advice on how to achieve an orgasm. Linda says she feels 'tingles' all over but, has never experienced an orgasm to it's fullest potential. Helen decides to throw a sex party for her friend to see if her pleasures can be finally be fulfilled possibly by trying different men. After the party provides no help, Helen recommends that Linda visit a doctor (Harry Reems). The doctor discovers that Linda's clitoris is located in her throat after an examination. The two then perform oral sex where Linda finally achieves an orgasm and wants to marry the doctor but, the doctor denies for his dick is too wore out to handle anymore deepthroating. She then goes on to work as a therapist for the doctor and performs a particular technique of oral sex - thereafter known as "deep throat" - on various men, until she finds the one to marry.

The 61 minute film is intended to be humorous with highly tongue in cheek dialogues and songs; fireworks going off and bells ringing during orgasm as well as, rocket ships shooting off during climax. The film is short lived but memorable. Some say it's immoral I say it's a rebellion against modern censorship and an underdog of the modern film world. Maybe a remake will come into view Lindsay Lohan in the lead role. Oh, dream I may but, happen it never will.

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Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

This film was a blast, all the way from the beginning all the way to the end. I had first seen it when I took an old friend named, Kelsea, out on what wasn't neither an outing nor a date. I don't know what it was. None the less, she didn't want to go see it out of respect for her friend Sabila. I talked her into it because, she had a vague interest and had heard it was pretty good. We went to Gainesville to see it and ate Quizno's and ventured into the odyssey that is the World of Sacha Baron Cohen. Never before has a movie made me laugh so hard. I laughed until I was coughing, and my ribs hurt from over exertion, my cheeks were sticky with dried tears, the same for Kelsea. I hold this film as one of the funniest films ever, up with, Love and Death, The Big Lebowski, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, A Shot in the Dark, and Blazing Saddles.

Sacha Baron Cohen, stars as his character from his old sketch comedy show, The Ali G Show, named Borat Sagdiyev. Borat is a reporter nominated for several award in his home country of Kazakhstan who is sent over by his agency to do a special report on the country of America to see why they're so successful and then bring the glory back to Kazakhstan. Borat is accompanied by his colleague, Azamat Bagatov (Ken Davitian) who is in charge of managing the on the road show and coordinator of where Borat will be reporting. After arrival in New York City, the first few reports prove unsuccessful Borat is discouraged in and is sitting in his hotel room watching American television. Upon it an episode of Baywatch comes on and he sees the star, Pamela Anderson. Borat instantly falls in love and learns that she lives in California and convinces his partner Azamat to take the show on the road so he can secretly come in contact with her so that he can marry her.

The movie is an amazing exploration of all the stupid shit that makes America so embarrassing to live in. Sure, we have our proud moments but, as of lately not a whole bunch and Borat takes those and cuts them open with a surgical knife and tosses all the organs around for those who've forgotten what we're made out of nowadays. One of my personal favorites is the stunt he does where he sings the national anthem at a rodeo in Texas and meets the owner of it. That's a 100% Texan for you, anti-everything non-Christian American. If anything that man deserved a punch in the chin with a quick thrust in the penis from a swift right heel. Ignorance is no where near bliss and this ignorance is very common to come across in America. I guess that's our biggest downfall as a country is our ignorance. I wonder what it is in our blood that makes us so intolerable to reason or common sense. A majority of Americans are not open to new things and they make other peoples personal lives a huge mishap on their lives. It's not worth it to make such a big deal that two men in love when you only have your one and only life to live. So, on top of being funny as hell, it's sort of a well hidden exposure of our beautiful country. Upon the recent release of Cohen's next dive into major film, Brüno, I much prefer Borat. It seems much more controversial and much more diverse. Borat didn't leave anything untouched or sacred he attacked all the habitats were use to today.

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